Coach Lozenge

October 2, 2003

Coach Lozenge

I am a smoker. Unfortunately. Although I helped others quit, I myself have never been able to stay away from cigarettes for longer than a few hours. As a coach and psychologist, I know that smoking is a physical and psychological addiction. The physical aspect can be conquered through the use of patches or lozenges, which you can buy at almost every pharmacy. The psychological aspect involves gaining insight in the inner mechanisms that make you want to smoke. Smoking, as well as other addictions (think food for example!), is considered to be a compensation for something missing within you, which in general is defined as self-love. If we would accept, respect and love ourselves just a tiny bit more, we would not need substances to comfort us. We would be able to comfort ourselves. No cigarette needed!

As for some time now, however, I am smoke-free! All of a sudden, I quit smoking and, to my own surprise, it seems to be the real thing this time. Careful analysis (which is of course what psychologists do) shows that my successful attempt is in part due to the cultural code of The Netherlands (my native country) and the U.S.A. (one of my favorite countries).

The U.S.A. taught me that if you would like to quit smoking, it is okay to take a nicotine lozenge to support you. In The Netherlands taking medication to help you quit smoking is often regarded to be nonsense. One should be able to quit on your own. Don’t take me wrong, I will never be in favor of “popping pills”, but taking a lozenge against nicotine cravings instead of going cold turkey is not such a defeat as we “Dutchies” think! Apart from the horrible flavor, such as mint, cappuccino and cherry, the lozenges worked wonders for me!

In addition, the U.S.A. made me understand that trying to quit smoking is a major challenge in one’s life and should be dealt with accordingly; i.e. with a lot of self love and support from others. In the Netherlands, people don’t make a big deal out of things accomplished. If you quit smoking, it is considered an accomplishment, but please don’t dwell on it: there are far more important issues in the world! Now, I really don’t want to compare my not smoking with third countries in need of food and water, but a little support does do wonders! The U.S.A. are far more into positive support and I love it! I thoroughly enjoy the support and praise I get from Americans, although “my inner Dutch voice” keeps telling me “I am making a big deal out of nothing; acting as a total drama-queen and should not be fishing for attention and compliments-let alone blush happily when someone tells me he or she is proud of me for acing it”.

Sometimes, however, the Netherlands and my inborn Dutch voice do help me out too. Like last night, when a major cigarette craving flooded me. Nothing helped. I tried a lozenge; called someone for support; reminded myself of how brave I was; watched all the sitcoms I could find on TV (think: Reba, Will & Grace, Frasier and Seinfeld), but Alas! Nothing worked. Not even when I tried to compensate my nicotine craving by eating ice cream, the ultimate act of self love. And then, my Dutch inner voice came to my rescue, yelling at me: “Act normal. Do not be such a drama queen. Difficult to stop smoking? Sure, but hey: tough love! Carry on and get a grip!”

I love the States above anything, but being Dutch is working wonders for me too!

Liliane Rausch is the founder and owner of The Ultimate Self. She is a Life Coach, Psychologist and Management Consultant and works globally from out The Netherlands, Europe. The Ultimate Self offers high-end and cost-effective coaching for individuals and organizations worldwide. For more information or coaching, contact Liliane at The Ultimate Self http://www.the-ultimate-self.com

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